so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
