I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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