Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
