can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
