his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
