I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
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shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
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No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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