someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
