were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
