I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize