I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
