What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
