In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
