I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
