so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Do vagina's smell?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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