I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
