Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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