I'm drive I can fine osifer
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
