What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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