Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
