4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
