My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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