Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
