I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
