:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
