I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
