There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Two words: nipple clamps
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