Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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