Just cropdusted the office
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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