I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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