I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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