So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
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