my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
