so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He passed out mid-signature
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
