I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
