dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
