so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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