i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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