he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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