My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
