great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
