shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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