Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
