we have officially mastered the walk of shame
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
