She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
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Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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