That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
