I'm drive I can fine osifer
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
and she was petting her beer can
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
