She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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