I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
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