We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
