my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just pynch a tree in the face
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
