I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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