Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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