i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
