I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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