you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Everything about him screamed your future.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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