I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
