I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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