Where is the hickey?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
