Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
