Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Barsexuality is the new black.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Randomize
