remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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