He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
