You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
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I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
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Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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