I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
